


The Five Stages

by DaniCarli



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 1970s town, Acceptance, Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bargaining, Best Friends, Canonical Character Death, Catharsis, Character Death, Death, Denial, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everlock, Family Fluff, Five Stages of Grief, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Headcanon, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Losing a friend, Loss, Male-Female Friendship, Matt is going through the stages, Matt will be ok, Mentions of other survivors - Freeform, Museums, Ollie is a sweet baby, Post S4, Post canon, Post-Betrayal, Purgatory, Rescue Missions, Sad, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Society Against Evil, cosmic sphere, once again a Matt angst fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26786623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniCarli/pseuds/DaniCarli
Summary: The five stages of grief is a process one goes through when grieving a loss through a series of five emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.This is how Matthew Patrick goes through the five stages after losing his best friend and soul sister a second time.Set Post-S4
Relationships: The Detective | Matthew Patrick & The Jet Setter | Rosanna Pansino
Comments: 16
Kudos: 17





	The Five Stages

**Author's Note:**

> This was more for me to vent how I felt about S4 ending (totally not still bitter about how Joey horribly treated Ro)

_The five stages of grief is a process one goes through when grieving a loss through a series of five emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance._

Denial

Matt refuses to believe it. It can’t be!

Nikita _said_ they all had a chance!

“What happened?” he pleads to Bretman and Colleen after they arrive through the portal. _Why didn’t Joey come through? Where’s Ro? Why isn’t she with you guys?_

Even with the traumatized, sorrowful looks on the survivors’ faces and the portal closing behind them, it’s impossible for it to sink in that for the second time, Matt has lost his best friend to this sick game. Only now, she’s actually gone for _good_ \--a final death for which there is no return. No more miracles, no more revivals. Rosanna Pansino is _really_ gone.

And that’s not even the worst part.

“Are you _sure_?” His eyes fill up with tears, devastation and slight anger building within his heart as Colleen sits opposite of him a few days later, confessing the horrifying reason why Rosanna didn’t make it.

“It’s true, Matt,” the former Duchess/Disco Dancer remorsefully confirms, "she hadn’t gone into a challenge yet and Joey felt like, for some reason, she needed to prove herself. He showed her card and _everything_ when we voted." Tears fall down Colleen's own face as she begins to cry, her hand on top of her friend's, trying to comfort him the best that she can. "I’m _so_ sorry, honey, it was awful! She didn’t deserve _any_ of that!”

_No!_ Matt still can’t wrap his head around it. _That can’t be right! Why would he do that to_ her _of all people?_

It’s one thing for his best friend to meet another brutal, painful end, but for _Joey_ to betray her? To condemn her to die, all because she hadn’t fought for her life yet? That’s impossible! It’s _ludicrous_!

Joey wouldn’t do that; he could _never_ do that! He loved Ro just as much as Matt did. She was nothing but a loyal, supportive friend to Joey, always wanting to protect him and have his back one hundred percent. That was very much crystal clear when they were in Everlock. So what could she have possibly done to make her supposed savior believe that it was more important that she go into a death challenge rather than protect her?

Matt doesn't understand. It was a _rescue_ mission. The whole _point_ was for Joey to rescue Rosanna, he was supposed to rescue _all_ of their friends, he was supposed to make things right! Joey wouldn’t turn on the small baker for something so ridiculous, would he? He couldn’t be _that_ cruel, right?

But as Matt looks into the eyes of Colleen Ballinger, the woman who _hates_ lies, and sees the guilt, the shame, and the pain of what she witnessed, he realizes that she’s telling the truth. As much as he doesn’t want to believe it, the reality finally sets in. 

That Joey _did_ in fact turn on Ro and sent her into that final death challenge.

Anger

_Damn him! Damn you, Joey Graceffa! Damn you to Hell!_

It takes everything within Matt to not fetch the Cosmic Sphere from the Society Against Evil and use it to track down Joey. He’s determined to find wherever that little weasel is hiding and beat him to the same bloody mush the theorist himself became when the Strong Man murdered him back in Everlock.

_How could you?_ Matt believed in the Savant, he trusted him! _Ro_ trusted him!

Why did it matter so much whether or not Rosanna fought for her life if the whole point was to save her and the others? How could the bastard hurt her like that, especially after _everything_ she did for him, sacrificed for him?

Most of the time, Matt can be a forgiving man. He forgave Joey for his actions in Everlock, including getting the former Detective killed. At least Matt understood then why Joey did what he did; the Savant had good intentions even if the ends didn’t justify the means.

But _this_? Believing that some unwritten rules of a survival game were more important than saving an innocent woman’s life? Apathetically throwing her into that challenge as if it was _her_ fault that she wasn’t put into previous challenges? Not even _attempt_ to protect her from becoming dinosaur chow when she lost, standing there as she was devoured, screaming and crying in excruciating pain? To overall betray and break the heart of the most kind and loving person to ever walk the Earth?

_That_ there, is unforgivable! In fact, it just proves that Joey Graceffa never learned from his mistakes, that he hadn’t changed at all. He is still the same lying, selfish coward who tricked Matt and their eight friends to come to that evil 1970s town, willing to trade their lives for his own.

Through his rage, the theorist hopes that the Savant got what he deserved when he disappeared into the museum. _None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you!_

It’s enough for Matt to punch through a wall.

Bargaining

There are moments in his anger where Matt also blames Colleen and Bretman. If they had just let their grudges go and not been so bitter and spiteful, Ro would have had a chance to survive. Or even at least die with the belief that the others cared about her and had her back to the very end.

Of course, once the fire ceases and his head is clear, Matt knows that he’s being unfair to the Purgatory survivors. They suffered through so much and were scared. Plus they didn’t know any better, unlike Joey who _did_. And in the end, both apologized for what happened and the parts they played in Ro's demise (even though Colleen didn’t have to since she didn’t actually turn on the other woman). Matt would be a hypocrite not to forgive them, let alone be mad at them.

It’s just...Rosanna should be alive. She should have gotten out. She should have _survived_! This was all never suppose to happen again!

Matt thinks back to his final moments with his best friend--her smiling at him, waving as he disappeared into the Greek maze, neither knowing it would be the last time they would ever see each other. He doesn’t even remember if he told her he loved her.

Maybe if he was faster, maybe if he never left Colleen’s side, they would have won the challenge and the magic from the Guardian Angel crystal would have kept him in Purgatory longer. Maybe he could have used that extra time to find a way to keep Rosanna safe, to prevent Joey from turning on her later.

Or maybe if he too had spoken up in the beginning that it was a bad idea for Bretman to come along on the mission, the beauty guru would have gone home and Ro would have had a stronger chance of surviving without him in the way. Heck, maybe if Matt just listened to that dark feeling he had in his gut days before the mission, he would have tried to delay everything until they were absolutely certain that _nothing_ would go wrong, that the Crown of Oblivion wouldn't break and the portal wouldn’t immediately close and lead to another death game. Maybe then, no one would have died.

Matt then remembers the mission to save Everlock and Rosanna’s first death. She was cursed by the witches, all because Joey told her to talk to them ( _because of course it was Joey’s fault she died that time!_ ) From being cursed, Ro was forced into that death challenge alongside himself, Joey, and Manny. It was there that she lost and was sacrificed by those horrible witches.

If Matt knew what he knows now, he would have had Rosanna come with him to get the Swine Spell when the group split up. Maybe then, he would have been able to keep her safe and prevent her from getting cursed. Would she have survived Everlock overall, Matt doesn’t know, but at least by having her by his side, _he_ would have kept her out of danger and not sell her out to the witches. After Safiya’s unfair death, Matt should have done more to protect Ro and avoid losing her as well.

Recalling these moments and “what ifs”, even as the theorist blames Joey, there are moments where he blames himself. Matt, too, feels like he failed his best friend.

Depression

It’s not fair!

Ro didn’t deserve any of this! She didn’t deserve to meet such brutal ends! She didn’t deserve to be thrown under the bus by someone who she loved and trusted!

She was supposed to be rescued! She was supposed to come home where she would reunite with her family, with her boyfriend, with her dogs, with everyone who loved and missed her! She would’ve gone back to her life as a YouTuber, baking and spreading joy. She would be alive and happy again!

She was not supposed to have her heart broken and die a painful death, thinking that none of her friends wanted, or even _cared_ , to save her! It hurts to even think about it.

Weeks after the events of Purgatory, it really starts to hit Matt that Rosanna Pansino, his “sister from another mister,” is truly gone. The pain of losing her again almost regresses him back to the depressive state he was in after he escaped from the 1978 town of horrors.

He tends to zone out, unable to hear, speak, or do absolutely anything. He has trouble working, losing motivation to write scripts and record for his channels. Matt will just sit in his closet, headphones on, microphone nearby...but instead of words, all that come out are tears flowing down his face and quiet sobs.

His wife, Stephanie ( _bless her!_ ), immediately recognizes what’s going on and gets her husband to open up. She has since been supportive, patient, and very comforting, doing the best she can to help him get through this, just like she did after he came back from Everlock. 

Even their young son, Oliver, can tell something's wrong and often curls up on Matt’s lap, assuring him in his own baby way that everything was going to be okay and that he loves his dad. Through his tearful despair, how could Matt not smile at the little life holding onto him? After all the trauma he went through and the PTSD that followed, Matt knows that he has the two most important people in his life to be there and unconditionally love him.

Acceptance

It still hurts to lose his best friend again, and he still has moments of sadness about it. But at the end of the day, Matt is still alive. He almost lost everything when he died himself, but a miracle gave it back to him, and he’s fortunate enough to keep breathing, live his life, and watch his little boy grow up.

He misses Ro everyday, but takes comfort knowing that their final moments together both times were filled with love towards one another; nothing he regrets about. He knows that if she were here, she wouldn’t want him to spend the rest of his life mourning her; she’d want him to move on, to live, to be happy. And that’s something Matt tells himself to do each day. He’s lucky to be able to do that.

He also has other things to be grateful for and appreciate aside from living and his family. His business continues to flourish, he helps others through consulting, sets up annual charity livestreams, and he has a supportive fan base who shows lots of love and support towards him. Not to mention that he made so many close bonds since surviving.

Matt connects well with the other survivors of these games, especially Tyler Oakely and Oli White, who he has get-togethers with whenever the British boy visits. He maintains his friendship with Nikita and continues their partnership even after he left the Society Against Evil, only coming in for consultation and briefings on missions; the female beauty guru made it clear to both sides that she only trusts _his_ word and findings. Despite all that’s happened and the new circumstances, the Everlock survivors have an unbreakable bond and nothing will ever change that.

Most of all, when it comes to the trauma of being killed and resurrected, Matt's not alone anymore. He was already friends with Colleen before their nightmares began, but the fact that they both went through something horrible and scarring has brought them even closer; it brings comfort to the two knowing they have someone who actually understands. Matt will stick by Colleen and help her get through the PTSD and assimilate back into society. He and Stephanie also not only helped in explaining to her now-husband, Erik, the truth about what really happened, but assisted them in preparation for parenthood. The four have a tight knit bond with plans for future play dates between their boys.

But even with all of that, Matt will continue to honor Rosanna’s memory. He and her sister, Molly, whom he also has a sibling-like bond with, work together (with Tyler’s help) to set up a foundation in Ro’s name, as well as other endeavors. Both will make sure that no one will forget the name Rosanna Pansino; not without thinking about the baker with a personality that was full of sunshine and love, that _anyone_ would be lucky to have her as a friend.

As for Joey, while Matt isn't sure if he ever forgive him for what he did, he knows that he can’t spend the rest of his life being angry at the other man; it would do no one any good. What’s done is done, and all Matt can do is move on. And if Joey were to return in the future, the theorist will cross that bridge when he gets there.

For now, Matt will continue to remember best friend and tell her story, to live life the best that he can for himself and for her until his time is up and the two reunite.

**Author's Note:**

> These two deserved so much better and I hope in canon, they have a happy ending in some way. Hope we don't have to wait too long for S5 to see what happens to flawed Savant and if he paid for his crimes or ever redeems himself.  
> Please comment and tell me what you all thought about this one-shot and leave a kudo.  
> Thanks a lot and until next time!


End file.
